motherhood in the naughties,  Parenting,  values

The Intentional Mother

If you’re a mother, you will have times when you feel intense overwhelm.

Sometimes you will experience this overwhelm on a daily basis.

We desire to be ‘Warrior women’, but instead some of us feel like ‘worriers’.  We quickly learn that there is so much more to being a mum than just surviving pregnancy and giving birth.  It fact, we are required to raise our children to be leaders in a world where we aren’t allowed to discipline.

Without discipline our children will grow up into entitled bratty adults who think the world owes them something

None of us want our children to turn out this way – do we?

It is for this reason,  we choose to discipline our kids. It is also for this reason we lie in bed trying to figure out the best way to deal with the ‘growing up issues’ that come our way. It is for this reason we pray and cross fingers and toes that we’ll get this whole parenting thing right.

Raising children into responsible happy adults is hard work, and we won't know how well we did until they become adults themselves.

This is why ‘Intentional mothering’ is important.

Intentional mothering means that we look after ourselves, and our families.  It means being okay with imperfection, it means the house may not be visitor ready – but the kids are happy, fed and cared for, it means that relationships come before cleanliness, it means that we’re living a happy, but slower paced lifestyle where we are relaxed and unstressed about the things that aren’t important in the great scheme of life’s day to day craziness.

Being an intentional mother means that we are consistently, calmly, and lovingly disciplining our children’s behaviour and attitudes towards the values we feel and believe are important.  A number of years ago a friend said to me, ‘Bring the big guns out on the big issues, and keep your cool on the minor issues that don’t really matter’.   I have learned that you gain more traction when you’re in control and calm.   My goal as a parent is to always parent from the heart, rather than a place of anger – which can be excruciatingly difficult at times.

Should children know when we upset with them?

Sure, but being angry doesn’t mean flying off the handle and exploding.  Communicating calmly shows our kids that we can practice self-control, and it proves to our kids that they can come to us with anything and we’ll be rational – even though we might be going crazy on the inside.

Raising children is hard work.  We don’t always get it right, but I do hope that my kids can see past my craziness and know in their hearts that I’d move heaven and earth for them.


Stay calm, you are a mummy warrior and you can be an ‘Intentional Mother!’.




  • Rachel Stewart

    I love that “discipline” also means “to teach”. So for us discipline is about a learning experience, not a punishment – if that makes sense?

    It might be that they’re learning that their actions have negative consequences, but they’re natural consequences and within a scope of what is appropriate for their age.

    • admin

      Thanks for commenting Rachel. I really appreciate you stopping and leaving your thoughts. I think the word discipline has been used in such a negative way for far too long. Discipline is about redirection and teaching rather than punishment. Its important to show our children that their actions and their words have positive and negative consequences rather than beating them with a stick to change them.

      Have an awesome weekend. xo

    • admin

      Thanks so much for your comment Amy. I for one have to put my hand up and say that I am a worrier. I want to be a warrior. Maybe I have seen far too movies! 🙂 xo

  • Hugzilla

    “Being an intentional mother means that we are consistently, calmly, and lovingly disciplining our children’s behaviour and attitudes towards the values we feel and believe are important.” LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS. This is exactly my approach. I’m not much of a worrier, but I’m big on keeping my calm.

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