Sarah – when did you get so old?

This morning I crawled out of bed.  It was probably one of the hardest nights sleep I have had in a long time, and I think that I have just about had enough of Jaden waking at 1 am and refusing to go back to sleep.    Jaden is one of those kids who screams until he gets his needs met so I can only imagine the glee and joy that my neighbours would feel if they were woken up by me trying to do ‘control crying’ or trying those good old ‘Self settling’ techniques at 1 am in the morning.   I don’t think the ‘Oldies’ out the back would appreciate me at all.

I had thought that maybe it was time to get Jaden into a single bed, and so we decided on the weekend to take the side of the cot off and put the portacot mattress down beside the cot so that if he fell out – he wouldn’t get hurt.    At 9:32 pm Saturday night I heard Jaden thud onto the mattress.   I was hoping that he would settle himself (self settling techniques) –  I waited a couple of minutes to work out if he would settle himself but he didn’t.   He screamed.   Dion slept through the scream – I thought it was ironic that it was his suggestion that we put the portacot mattress on the floor!    (MEN!!!)

Jaden had not actually hurt himself, but he did give himself a little fright so cuddles  settled him down reasonably quickly.

My new thought is that we should get a single bed and put it in his room.   I’ll make it up and get a bed rail from the op shop when I see one next and see if we can transition him into the bed.    He has always hated the cot and part of me understands why he might hate it, but at the end of the day – the child has to sleep in his own room – and all of the night!

So last night was a hard nights sleep.  It wasn’t all of Jaden’s fault. It was also Chanel as she had come in at some point and decided that it would be appropriate to sleep like a star fish.    Upside down.    I woke at one point in the night to find that she  had her foot stuck up in my face.   I woke her to get her back to her bed, but boy, I am so over disturbed sleep!!!   Disturbed sleep is playing havoc with me at the moment.

At some point over the holidays when Dion has some time off I would love to have a mini mummy vacation all on my own!   If your thinking that I sound extremely selfish you should probably switch off now, but I have been a stay at home mum for over 10 years now and I have not had any time off.     I know that mums don’t usually get time off, but I have some friends who do make time for themselves and do have weekends away and let me tell you that I think they are a heck of a lot happier for the time away from their families.

Mums need a break.  Its the only job in the world that actually requires you to be present 24 hours of the day.    Specially when you have kids who don’t sleep through or are restless sleepers.  There is no financial benefit, no sick leave, no holidays, etc.

The original plan was to have time away at the middle of term 4, but because of Dion’s work commitments the new plan hopefully can be implemented during the time he has off.   My plan is to have two nights and three full days away.    All I want to do is go away and sleep, read, sit by a pool, swim in the pool, go for a walk on the beach, eat fruit and whatever I feel like when I like.    The whole idea is to have a holiday for myself, and come back feeling rejuvenated and ready to go.

I have told hubby that the house needs to be in order, the washing needs to be done each day and hung out, the kids fed, bathed and happy when I come home.    Otherwise the time away will be ruined!

Not sure when this mini mummy break will happen but the plan is out there.

When I looked in the mirror this morning after my hard night of disturbed sleep at home, I really did not like the person staring back at me.   The Sarah in the mirror looks exhausted.   The Sarah in the mirror looks as though she needs some major work done and I really thought that this Sarah looked old.  Sadly I feel old.   I am still a few years off from 40, but I feel old, and I am not ready to feel old.   So today I think the line in the sand has been drawn.     Its not just about exercise, its about everything.     My life needs an overhaul!    And hopefully before 2013 starts.