Recently I have started to look at my life in terms of the people I see on a regular basis. I have realised that the mums at school who I see on a regular basis really do form my immediate friendship group. Don’t get me wrong I have some very close friends, but I find that I don’t get to socialise often.
Here is my issue. I have four kids, a house with all the chores that need to happen in it, my eldest child has an medical condition called CRMO, Bethy has some learning issues at school and Chanel is going well at the moment, and my youngest little one is 17 months…Make that 17 1/2 months. I haven’t slept properly in over 17 months because my little boy does not sleep through. Actually longer than that because I had a very uncomfortable pregnancy with Jaden. He sleeps through the day time, but only for about an hour….sometimes an hour and a half! It seems that every time I have tried to make plans or have been invited to something my daughter who has CRMO has needed me… Such is life – I suppose!!.
I have to say that if facebook did not exist I think I might be a little bit of a basket case. Even though I only get to peak into my friends lives due to facebook status updates, I at least get to have conversations with them through the chat ability on facebook or on skype.
Anyway, I think I need to make more of an effort in creating opportunities to catch up with quality people. My experience with a so called friend this week has really hurt my feelings, so I am going to up the anti and put into some friendships with some great women. I need this for me – even if it is for selfish reasons I am going to organise a few things for these fellow mums.
I have decided that although this friend hurt my feelings, I have to stop and assess my actions in the friendship. Yes my family life comes first, and I haven’t had as much time as I had last year, but I have been busy with children. Four of them! To meet up with friends I need a little support. Support in the sense that unless I am on my own, I am unable to meet at places such as McDonalds and the Coffee Club or even an indoor play centre at this moment. My little one – Jaden, does not want to sit and wait for me to have my time with friends and he is far too little to be left unsupervised at either McDonalds or a playcentre. I need friends to be flexible, just as I need to be flexible to fit in with my friends.
The losing a friend situation this last week got me thinking about friendship, and my kids, particularly Bethy, are struggling at the moment with different personality types at school, and now after this week, I am wondering if we ever get too old for friendship issues?
I personally thought I was a good friend, but I think I need to give more of myself into friendship, organise fun things, get Jaden babysat and go out and have some fun with fellow women who not only I ‘get’, but they ‘get’ me’!
I was recently thinking about how life was as a single person with no partner, and no kids and the ability to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I hung out with friends and stayed out for as long as I wanted. I had no curfew and no responsibilities other than my job… I was interupted by my gorgeous little boy, and bought back to reality. This is where I want to be. I have a gorgeous husband to come home too, I have four beautiful children to cherish. Yes its busy and yes I wish I had more time to myself….but I wouldn’t swap what I have for a million dollars. I think the word is ‘blessed’. If anyone wants to give me a million dollars I wouldn’t say no btw.
This friend may have hurt my feelings, and it caused me to question myself, but instead of continuing to feel bad about the situation, I will feel good, because it has encouraged me to cherish the friendships that are good and healthy and make more time for those who as I said before ‘get me’.