As a Stay at Home Mum of four children, I decided a few months ago that I needed to go on a journey to find ‘Sarah’ again. The young youthful Sarah, I remember was a very different person to who I am now. I remember her to be a lot more fun and spontaneous than she is now. She used to spontaneously go and have hot chocolates (I am not a coffee or tea drinker) and play pool at the Twin Waters Resort with friends on a Friday or Saturday evening. The young Sarah tried to learn how to surf (failed miserably – but it was fun trying) and roller blade! The young Sarah walked through the Bli Bli wetlands at night with her friends after youth group and sit on the jetty by the Maroochy River, just because we could. We would tell jokes, chat, freak each other out, and laugh with and at each other. We would go to the beach often, and sit around the Coffee Club at Mooloolaba (Mooloolaba was a different place in those days -there weren’t many cafe choices) and chat and have fun together. I was a lot more spontaneous pre-marriage and pre-motherhood. I guess the majority of us wives and mums were more spontaneous in the old days.
Has the responsibilities of parenthood, marriage, running a household changed me to the point that I am now unrecognizable to the young Sarah. Don’t get me wrong – I love my family – but I have to admit that I feel that have lost that ‘Inner Goddess’, or that youthfulness that I once had. I have certainly lost the ‘Goddess’ body – but renewing that is a plan in progress 🙂 No one can bear four children and come away from that ordeal unscathed!
The young Sarah was spontaneous and probably a little frivolous – but she was Fun. Today’s Sarah is married to a wonderful man and has four wonderful children, but feels that she has lost some of her zest and spunk. Would I swap my single days and my freedom for my children or my husband – NO WAY.
The benefits of a happy marriage and the life of a parent absolutely out ways the positives of being single and free, in my opinion. However, I have realised that somewhere between doing laundry, disciplining, homework, changing nappies, settling arguments between kids, pregnancy and bathing children – I have lost some of the ‘fun Sarah’. Responsibility has taken the edge off ‘fun Sarah’, and I guess I could say that I feel that I have lost my inner Goddess!
While I have no plans to introduce a web cam to my blog, and I have no desire to sing or dance around my kitchen in coloured latex gloves and an apron, I had made the decision that this year was the year that I added fun back into my life. Somehow over the years I forgot through the busyness of life that fun was actually an element to life. We need fun! Fun brings memories and happiness to our lives. It helps brings light and shade to our lives, and fun helps bring balance. I am scheduling my days and finding that not only am I achieving more, but I am also finding time to have some fun.
I have to admit, I have no desire to plod through the Bli Bli Wetlands at night these days. That was a fun time in my life, but I want to have more fun in our family. Regular dates with my husband would be nice. We need to bring back fun into our marriage. While I love our marriage, I want more romance and spontaneity back in our relationship. At different times, the kids can be hard work, and sometimes we just look at each other, both secretly and silently asking ourselves and each other – what the heck did we do? We are happy in our chaos, but we would love to mute the chaos once in a while. The idea of more us time away from the kids allows us to relax and re-energize us for the next installment of kiddy chaos. I often joke that Jaden does not have an off button, and there is no way we can take the batteries out, to give us a moment to work out what the next course of action needs to be.
This year I am cultivating a group of like minded women to have fun with! Coffee nights and going to the movies are definitely on the agenda. If you know me – I love a good conversation, a glass of wine or a hot chocolate – particularly overlooking the beach at Mooloolaba or Bulcock Beach in Caloundra. A coffee shop near the beach reminds me of the days when I had all the time in the world, and its not the four walls of home. There is no washing basket to be folded, and the dishes aren’t mine to clean. A cafe is the perfect place for any mother trying to get away from it all. Cafe’s and restaurants remind us that we aren’t on kitchen duty at the present time, and of course there is nothing more relaxing than two friends or a group of friends catching up and laughing with each other.
So what does it mean to bring out your inner Goddess? Well, to me it means that I am doing what I need to do in my life. My role in my life at this time is that I am a Stay at home mum. Our eldest is 10 and our youngest is two, and I love my husband and my children, so I want the flexibility to be available to them. I love my extended family, and I will do what I need to do to be the best wife and mother, sister and sister in law, daughter and friend. I have many roles to fill. I also have ambition and drive to have some personal success with my writing. I have goals that I would really like to achieve. My Inner Goddess is nourished when I make time to exercise, eat well, have time with my family, catch up with friends, when I give myself permission to chill out and read, and when I am achieving my goals. All we need is a little light and shade to have our inner Goddess come back to life. We need to make decisions that will flourish that excitement and joy inside of us. We aren’t meant to be slaves to our homes or to our work, we are meant to enjoy our lives and enjoy the people that are in them. When we lose this joy, we need to make some changes.
I have recently identified my absolutes, and this has given me an overwhelming peace. I need not worry about what others around me are doing. At this time in my life I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. I see the changes that I need to make in my life to make it more balanced and I am working towards my goals. This brings peace and joy, so I am happy in myself at this time.
The question I have for you is, what changes are you prepared to make in your life to bring your ‘Inner Goddess’ back to life?