Family life is rewarding on so many levels. The love I have for each person in my family is not in question, but I have to be honest and say this – As rewarding as family life is – I am in desperate need of some time for myself. I am certainly NOT a desperate housewife by any means, but I am in need of a hobby, project or job. I would love my ‘thing’ to earn some money so that I feel like I am contributing financially….but with limited time and ideas its hard to find that ‘thing’.
One of the issues I have is that I feel that I have to be on top of my ‘at home’ jobs before I can venture out into the wilderness with ‘me time ideas’. However, I am starting to think that my home will never be perfect, and there is always going to be ‘at home jobs’ to do…so maybe I need to change my thinking. My new way of thinking is this: If the important things at home are done, I am and should be free to do ‘me types of things’, So guess what – This is what I am going to do – I am going to give myself permission to do those things that I would like to do…you know venture out of my front door and my front yard and dance like a crazy person, well at least explore those things that I feel that I have lost since I became somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother. I don’t mean any disrespect when I say these things – my husband has always encouraged me to find ‘my thing’ and go for it, but the demands of family life can be taxing and the idea of trying new things can be daunting. Hiding behind ‘family life’ or the concept of being a stay at home mum is sometimes very safe, even though there is a part of me screaming out for the desire of identity outside the four walls of family life.
I have made the decision to give myself time to explore those things I would like to do, and I sense the hardest thing about making this decision is sticking to the decision and making time for myself.
Another part of the plan to give myself this time is to get the kids more involved in cleaning up after themselves and teaching them life skills. I heard on the radio the other day a doctor (I forget his/her name) in the States said that families work at their best, when the members of the family are taught that they are team members and purely not individuals.
Each person needs to contribute to the household. I am the captain of the household in terms of knowing what jobs need to be done and there is an endless list of jobs, believe me! I am the mother of 4 children, and I see myself and my husband as responsible for growing our children into responsible and capable adults.
A while back I heard an interview on television where a prep teacher was being interviewed on things that she has learn’t over the 25 years of working with small children. This prep teachers advice was that many parents often do jobs for their children becasue they think its easier to do so, however, the best advise she has for any parent, grandparent or childcare worker is that it is important not to do any jobs for children that they themselves can do. It is important to push a child to achieve not just at school, but also at home.
In many respects it is easier and quicker for me to just do the darn job, but if I do the darn job, I am actually ripping my children off from experiencing the achievement of doing a job well, and learning the life skill in question at the time.
I am going to prepare my kids for the real world, the workforce and the idea of living well. I will allow them a small allowance that they have to manage – earn, save and or spend! The jobs may be boring, but they will learn to be team players and they will also help give me the chance to fulfill my potential!
I know for me this interview struck a cord with me, and now I encourage my kids to go the extra mile and push themselves to see what they can do before I jump in and save the day.
Anyway, I could write all day….I am starting the process of working out a great chore board concept for our family….so stay tuned!