These days, most people know exactly who the Kardashian family is! For those who don’t know, the Kardashian’s are a large, very confident and very self assured family who live in America – who happen to have their own reality show called none other than ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians!’
This blog post really isn’t about the Kardashians as such – it is more about finding your inner confidence. The Kardashian’s are very comfortable with who they are, and what they are all about. It seems that each member of the Kardashian family have confidence that could be measured in buckets, actually no – lets just call them tanks, and as a result they don’t seem to be afraid to give their business or personal ideas a go!!
This got me thinking, and suddenly I found myself asking why is it so easy for some to get up on stage and sing, or get up and deliver a talk, do a webinar, or even jump out of a plane? Obviously, we don’t see them shaking in their boots before they go on stage to do their thing – but it does amaze me that they can actually pull themselves together and summon up the courage to ‘go for it!’ when it is their turn. They are completely committed to doing their thing no matter what! I find it a struggle to take a photo I actually like, and I also find it difficult to think of what to say when put on the spot. Maybe I am too critical of myself – and maybe my goal this next year should be to lighten up!!
With 2014 on my doorstep, I figured it might be a good idea to start the process of trying to become more confident in myself so that I can actually be the best version of myself. I have noticed that confident people have the ability to strike when the iron’s hot and jump straight in. People who lack confidence seem to allow opportunities to pass them by – so I really need to pull myself together and gain some confidence!!
So I decided to put a list together of ways to increase our inner confidence. We may not desire to be a Kardashian – but our goal should be to live our best life and do what we need to do with confidence – after all, we are good enough!!.
So how do you grow confidence?
1. Make the decision to believe in yourself! Look at yourself squarely in the eye and make this commitment.
2. Courage is a muscle – it must be exercised to gain mass. The more you exercise courage the more you will have and the less afraid you will be (preaching to myself here by the way)
3. Make a commitment and stick to it. This helps build self-confidence. Make a plan for an early morning walk – and actually do it!
4. Realise that confidence is built one day at a time – don’t be too hard on yourself. Just make a time each day to work on it and watch it grow.
5. ‘Self-love’ Huni. Do something nice for yourself (use the good china when having a cup of tea, make yourself a bubble bath, make a decision to stop talking negatively about yourself, go read your book at the beach, buy yourself some flowers, etc). Don’t be so hard on yourself! Maybe you need to downsize your goals so that they are easier to get accomplish, and then strive for larger achievements.
6. Help others. When we help others, we are actually helping ourselves. Whether we like it or not, there is a chemical reaction in our body that switches on when we help someone else.
7. Decide to live a healthy lifestyle. Give yourself permission to make good choices about what you eat and drink and watch how your skin and your body change (another side benefit of self love).
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It may be the title of one of my favourite little books – but its so true. Accept the things you can’t change and put them behind you – keep focussed on the prize.
9. Allow fear to be a motivating response rather than a debilitating reaction to a problem. We all have issues we need to put right in our lives and fear can stop us going forward. I Don’t fear change – change is supposed to be as good as a holiday!
10. We have to learn to care less about what others think of us and go with our gut feeling. Realise that our family and friends love us but usually have a different agenda for their lives and at times can seem uncaring or disapproving of our life choices. I’m learning to run with my desire for my life.
11. What more can I say!
Okay! So you may not want to be a Kardashian, but you might like to live your life with just as much passion, love, fearlessness and enjoyment. Its time to find your inner joy, grab the keys and get on with it.
Suddenly, I feel a little better about my goals and passions in life – sure I would just die if my life was a reality show – but that is okay, because this family is not meant to be televised! Can you imagine? Horrified!
Did you know that being a mum is hard work? I’m not just talking about the physical aspects of becoming a mother, or the daily routines you have to succumb too to maintain sanity. I am talking about the every day emotional and psychological aspects of being the mother you want for your kids – Its hard work!!!
Mrs Carol Brady (The Brady Bunch) had the best gift ever! She had an Alice. Alice is every mother’s dream – Alice took care of the Brady family, and gave the gift of time back to Mrs Brady. She made their meals, their lunches for school, she did all aspects of the families laundry, and she kept the house in ship shape condition.
What was Carol Brady’s role in the Brady household? Well I will tell you.
Carol spent her time enjoying the family, she sewed and did crafts, and when she wasn’t doing that, she had time to be active in the children’s schools, and attended community meetings. Carol Brady had the ‘dream’ motherhood gig of all time. She had time to spend ‘quality time’ with her husband and children, AND the best part of her role was that she was cool, calm and collected (prozac free).
How does a mum of four find serenity, peace, harmony and happiness in todays world?
The first thought that came to mind is that one needs to run away, but the reality of running away doesn’t give long term serenity, peace, harmony or happiness, because before you know it ‘mothers guilt’ and that ‘longing’ feeling, too see your kids kicks in (it does for me anyway). One thing I have realised is that the pace of life will never really slow down! The lifestyle we want for our lives is completely subject to how we decide to live our lives. The ball is completely in our court – we just need to learn how to use the ball to get our desired lifestyle. The first question we have to ask ourselves is this. Do we want to merely survive our life, or do we want to live our life with some style. I know which one I am choosing…do you?
Not long ago, I read local Sunny Coaster Sandra Forster’s book “How to be Wildly Wealthy Fast’. She wrote about a time in her life when she was in a massive amount of debt, and she felt the world upon her shoulders, so she made a decision. She would write down what she would like her life to look like. Then, she went one step further, and asked herself ‘what she wanted her day-to-day life to look like?’, and ‘What exciting things could she plan for and get excited about – that would help her stay motivated?’.
Sandy wrote about the power of just writing down her ideal day, and how before she realised it, she was actually living her ‘ideal life’. She said. ‘The day she wrote down her ideal day and her ideal life, is the same day something happened to her, she had made the decision in her heart that she would consciously take control of her steering wheel and veer it toward her ideal destination’. She found herself making decisions that would ultimately get her to ‘live her desired life’. It seems, there is some kind of domino effect in place.
So here I am living the life of a stay at home mum, enjoying my kids, running a household (all the aspects of motherhood I signed up for happily so many years ago), and trying to skill up between episodes of ‘Mr Maker’ and ‘In the Night Garden’ (Jaden’s two favourite shows). I love blogging and learning all the intricate details of blogging, social media and marketing. I realise that my life as a Stay at home mum will one day be over and I want to merge into the next phase of my life with ease. My kids will still need me, but in a different way, so I need to muster up the confidence and the courage it will take to go to the next level and join the ranks of other ‘Work at home mothers’. It does take confidence, as its very easy to feel that one’s only skill is ‘motherhood and cleaning’, but I have a love for writing and a love for social media and marketing, so I am continuing my journey to self employment and dream building.
As soon as I can, I will find myself an ‘Alice’, so that I can be the kind of mother I want to be for my children – to have the ability to spend copious amounts of time with them without the constant inner nagging that ‘something’ needs to be done.
Are you in the process of merging from one dream lifestyle, to another dream lifestyle?
Have you ever done a personality test?
Many moons ago, when I was at college, I was introduced to the Myers Briggs Personality test in a subject called Psychology 101, and then I completely forgot all about it. Until recently, that is. So I googled personality test reviews and found this to be one of the best ones – if you are interested in knowing your result, click this link..
I wish I could remember my previous test result score – but I don’t, so I have to move on with regard to that, so this week I went through the test again and apparently I am can be categorized as an ISFP type of person.
When the result came in, my immediate thought was – ‘Thank God, they actually have a combination for my personality; and then I thought I should probably find out what ISFP actually means?’
So here goes!
INTROVERTED SENSING FEELING PERCEIVING
Reserved, listen carefully, prefer solitary activities, more comfortable when alone than when around other people, get exhausted by social interaction
Observant, rely on their senses, absorbed in practical matters, focus on what has happened.
Sensitive, follow their hearts, keep feelings close to the surface, focus on harmony and cooperation
Probing, prefer keeping their options open, reluctant to commit, relaxed about their work, seek freedom
I may have originally done the test for a bit of fun to start with – but I found myself a little invested in the results. It actually answers some of the questions of ‘why’ I do certain things or think in a particular manner. The ISFP category is apparently the ideal personality types so I feel rather special, but it is also defined as ‘The Artist’. I have never really been an artsy kind of person. I like the idea of being arty – but the reality is that my creative outlet is my writing. I love to write.
So I encourage you, if you don’t know your result already, do the test (it only takes a few minutes), and then come back and let me know your results and what you think of your result – and tell me if you agree?
I recently ‘liked’ a page on facebook called ‘Old Sunshine Coast’ and I have felt very priviledged to have a birds eye view back to the past. I moved to the Sunshine Coast at a time in my life where I was single and completely and utterly responsible for myself. Some might consider those days ‘The good old days’, and I have to admit that I have moments where I miss that girl – but I am quickly reminded of how blessed I am to have the husband I have and the children I have.
When I look at those old photos of the coast, I can’t help but think of how simplistic it must have been back then. It was a far different world back then – just imagine your life on the Sunshine Coast with no Sunshine Plaza, the road down to the beach from Buderim was a dirt road, the coast road from Mooloolaba to Maroochydore was either beach or stretches of untouched land. In those days, life seemed so much simpler. I realise that it is impossible to go back to ‘the old sunshine coast’, and in many respects the growth of the Sunshine Coast has brought with it many really great and wonderful opportunities, but it leaves me with the desire to get back to basics, and for me – my basic desire is to live a simpler life.
A ‘simplistic lifestyle’ is so very attractive. Its about working out the needs from the want list and adding a couple of teeny luxuries from time to time to keep life interesting. So I bet you are wondering what my ‘simplistic living’ lifestyle looks like?
So here are my ideals.
1. Be grateful for what we have. Having a grateful heart in any situation is not just important – its an absolute. Enjoy what we have already been blessed with.
2. Realise that life is an adventure, and brace yourself for highs, lows and bumps along the way. Forrest Gump believed that life was a box of chocolates – basically anything could happen in life (and this is true to a point), but if you have a goal and a plan for your life – you have a vision. This vision helps create momentum and while Forrest is right – you don’t exactly know what conditions you are going to have to endure along the way, you have to prepare yourself in life to be resilient. You have to look past the obstacles that are before you. Your adventure or path toward your goal may have straight roads with a few sharp turns, it might be a constant series of sharp turns, or you might feel from time to time your vision has been completely blown off the map – but don’t fear – keep it simple and look far into the distance, because this is where your goal will be relaxing with a Pina Colada, in a hammock under a tree looking across the ocean! 2. Write down your vision. What kind of lifestyle would you like? Would you like to buy a house, or pay off your house, be self sufficient? What would you like your life to look like? What are your absolutes in life? You need to own this. Make it real by creating a dream board or a vision board that you have to walk past every day. 3. Take stock. Clean out the garage, bedrooms, kitchen cupboards, other cupboards, etc, of all things you no longer use. Work out if they are to be sold, given away or thrown out. Declutter your home is a good way to start decluttering your mind. Ask yourself: If the things your keeping fit into your lifestyle criteria? What value does each item have in my life? 4. Its time to work out our budget. Write all the information and correct amounts…then have another component for 10% to cater for price changes. Have a category for DIY changes in your budget. At this time in our lives we have a laundry that our washing machine won’t fit, and we have a tiny linen cupboard not fit for a family of six. One project I am saving up for at this time is a laundry upgrade.
5. What does your home mean to you? Our home is our paradise. Its a simple four bedroom home, but we think of it as our palace. We are making improvements to make it exactly how we would like to live our lives.
6. Have a calendar and set in stone some flexible absolutes in advance eg. date nights and family fun days, and work as many things around those dates. I call them flexible absolutes as you might need baby sitting to have a date night, but your baby sitter becomes unavailable, or a friends/family member might have booked their wedding on your date night. The other component to this is that you need an online calendar that you can share with your partner in life so that you are on the same track. You are both privy to whats coming up in your lives and remember to write everything down even if its an uncertain possible event – put it in the calendar, and make sure you both look at the calendar on a regular basis.
7. Work out your Priorities in your everyday life! One of my priorities is to have more fun with my kids. I don’t want them growing up and thinking that mum never stopped to have fun with them – so how do you do this when the household jobs still need to be done? You get the kids to help! There are jobs where the kids can’t help – but for the ones they can – they will and do! My philosophy is that if they wear clothes, they can be part of the process of washing, bringing them in and folding/putting away. They also have the responsibility of making their beds, making school lunches and helping to clean up, whether it be unstacking/stacking the dishwasher, sweeping/vacuuming the floor and cleaning the bathrooms. My responsibility is to teach them how to do it, and work along side them to help them. A family who do chores together has more fun together. I believe it is my responsibility to teach them how to be responsible adults, and yes a child should have time to play – but they are also apart of a family and should help out. If everyone did a job for 15 minutes (for example cleaning the bathroom, cleaning up the kitchen, tidying the lounge room, folding laundry and delivering it to the ends of the beds of each person) – there are 6 people in our household, so effectively we can pretty much get the basics done in 15 minutes. I wouldn’t get the vacuuming done in this time – but I would get it started and I find that this job is best done while everyone is at school so that I can also put the mop on the floor.
8 Get savvy with meal preparation! Meals are my pet hate. I think my issue is the shopping for groceries part – so shop online and have them delivered. I prefer Coles online out of the two main supermarkets – but there is a farmers option (I can find out more if your interested). The driver of the truck comes and puts all the groceries on my bench. This is a real treat and something I actually really love. The only way to make this work is to meal plan. I am still a work in progress with this one – but I want stress free meals, and meals I can prepare in advance that are healthy healthy and healthy..
9. If you have to go to a shopping centre or a grocery store – avoid bringing family members. Every time hubby comes grocery shopping with me our bill is always higher. Very frustrating when you really want to stick to your budget.
10. Plant a vegetable garden! This is something on our priority to do list and its something the kids are very excited about doing as well. I want the kids growing up knowing and appreciating real food, and understanding how it came to our table. Its a proven fact that children eat far more vegetables when they are part of the process of growing them, and its a delightful way to save money as well.
So, here are my top ten ways that I plan to simplify my life, you are welcome to add to my list in the comments area if you would like as I would love to hear your thoughts.
Amy, our 11 year old daughter came home excited on Friday from school. She wanted to show me a video of this ‘funny little kid who dresses like the President!’. Amy was introduced to ‘Kid President’ at school, so we sat down at the computer together’, and before I knew it – I had four children crowding the computer. Kid President is infectious!
The Kid President puts a smile on your face straight away. He has an infectious smile and a hilarious little laugh, and you can just see he has a fun personality.
The Kid President’s mission:
Is to give you a pep talk! and to help make our world a better place!
After all, everybody needs a pep talk!
Robby Novak, AKA ‘Kid President’ is ten and is an amazing child. He and his sister Alexia were born with a condition called Osteogenesis Imperfecta (also known as brittle bone disease), which means their bones break easily, so they are in a lot of pain. However, Robbie’s desire is to live large despite his frailties.
I think Amy was particularly inspired by Robbie’s story because she could identify with him. Amy’s CRMO condition is not in any way on par with what Robbie and his sister Alexia go through, but she understands what pain is and I could see Amy felt inspired by a child in her peer age living his life on such a large scale, and not allowing his condition stop him or his dream.
So she and I have picked out the two videos that we would love you to watch – make sure you tell us what you think afterwards – we would love to hear your thoughts?.
The first one is a pep talk to you from the Kid President – Have a dream!
And the second one is the Kid Presidents Pep talk to Teachers and Students.
Isn’t it great to be reminded, that we are here for a reason? Every one of us has a dream for our lives – the question needing to be asked is – Are you going to go after your dream AND fight for it – jump over any obstacles if need be? OR are we going to lie down and let the ‘issues’ of life take our joy and our passion? We all have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill and if a child with serious health concerns can dress up like the president and inspire us, then I am certain that today I can put a smile on my dial and go for one of my dreams.
Don’t just dare to dream, pull up your socks and go for it – whats the worst that happen?